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Disclaimer Warning: This Web Site Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity. Warning: This Web Site Attracts Every Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Web Sites of Other authors, with a Force Proportional to the Web Site of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them. Caution: The Mass of This Web Site (particles on hard drive) Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight. Handle with Extreme Care: This Web Site (particles on hard drive) Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles per Hour. Consumer Notice: Because of the 'Uncertainty Principle,' It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Web Site Is and How Fast It Is Moving. Advisory: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Known as 'Tunneling,' This Web Site May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result. Read This Before Opening Package: According to Certain Suggested Versions of a Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting This Web Site (traveling electrons and particles on hard drive) May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years. This is a 100% Matter Web Site: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result. Public Notice as Required by Law: Any Use of This Web Site, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe. Note: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Web Site Are Held Together by a 'Gluing' Force About Which Little Is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed. Attention: Despite Any Other Listing of Web Site Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer Is Advised That, in Actuality, This Web Site Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space. New Grand Unified Theory Disclaimer: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Web Site Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are 'Rolled Up' into Such a Small 'Area' That They Cannot Be Detected. Please Note: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Web Site, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State. Component equivalency notice: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Web Site Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Web Sites of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied. Health Warning: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Web Site, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User. Important Notice to Purchasers: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Web Site, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Reemerge, the Existence of This Web Site in That Universe Cannot be Guaranteed. Accept the Disclaimer
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